This world is paradise
Scenic and beautiful
The forest comes to life
It’s like a musical!
Is it ironic that I’m an omnic?
I’m not at odds with nature
Now that I’m part of it!
I used to be on my own till I found you
Make yourself at home, look around you
We’ll build a life and do what friends do
While I try to forget what I’ve been through!
You set me off now rest in peace
I’ll f**k you up when you step to me!
Your blood will run through every street
You b****es won’t even get to scream!
I’ll drop robot obscenities
While I bathe in the flesh of my enemies
It’s time to wipe this planet clean
Of the s**t-stain called humanity!
Pump you full of lead from head to feet
Shred to pieces like a fat bag of meat!
I laugh happily at you as you bleed
Brutality is all Bastion needs!
My turret’s gonna f**k you up!
Now eat my bullets, taste my rust
Tongue my bolts and suck my nuts!
You’re a bunch of F****** *****!
Excuse that tiny outburst
Where’d I digress?
After the Omnic Crisis
I’ve been a mess if you couldn’t guess
Those days are long behind me
So don’t be scared!
Yes I’ve seen better days but
I’ll make repairs!
Though I’m a bit rusty, trust me
No one’s gun’s bigger!
Use soft voices, cause loud noises
Might get me TRIGGERED!
What in the mother of f**k was that?
PTSD’s comin back!
Been runnin’ train since Vietnam!
And I’ve gone nuts deep inside your mom!
No time to run, it’s time to die!
I see you pussies tryna hide!
You’re just a Motley Crew of cowards!
You’re Overwatch, I’m OVERPOWERED!
Like a homicidal artist
I’ll paint your brains on the wall, b****!
I love the mess, I’m covered in carnage!
Earth’s a dumpster, you’re it’s garbage!
You’re all weak, I’m a tank
Hope you freaks like getting spanked!
Armor’s strong, gun is long
Don’t believe me? Ask your mom!
That’s just my sense of humor
It’s all for laughs!
Tell your mom I’m so sorry!
For not calling back, b**ch!
I need space for a while
To do some thinkin!
Because once I get hostile
You’ll face extinction!
I frolic and dance with the animals
They don’t mind if I’m a bit mechanical!
Still I find myself longing
To murder everybody!
I’m the last f**king Bastion!
All of my kind are dead!
I’ll kill all of you bastards!
Cause that’s all I have left!
I will massacre the masses!
Tear your families apart!
You’ll be slaughtered
Like the filthy f**king cattle that you are!
Come with me my feathered friend!
We’ll stick together until the end!
We’ll live out each of our dreams
How I love to hear their screams!
[Incomprhensible robot speech]